January 2012
7 posts
I can't lean on you..
Seemingly never ending tears without consolation. Rules were too stiff for exceptions with you. Simply, all I asked was to be a priority, an exception. The unachievable with you. Rather, I’m forced to find comfort in the relation to heartbreaking songs. Hurt festering to the point of illness. Forced to push you away when ALL I want is to know I can stay. This time, I’m not sure how...
Also, I miss my laptop.
and resent myself for breaking it.
</3
The urge to be sweet, to show you I love you was there… You were too tired.
Sorrow was overwhelming me, I really wanted you to cheer me up. You’d be out too late.
My problem is evident. No need for further explination.
However, the worst part of ALL of it… Expressing my emotions only conflicts more sorrow and negitive emotion rather than fixing my original solution.
On a...
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this is write with no disclosure, no apology, just pure emotion. from myself. for myself. by myself.
There was a different look in his eyes. Something unfamiliar, something uneasy that day. Things seemed so perfect before. For once, I felt comfort with you. With your family, with the direction we were headed. The familarity of your body against mine was always soothing but not that day. That day...
“It is important to spend most of your time in the company of people who support...”
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie (via creatingaquietmind)
Sometimes emotion overturns logic.
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The problem with high school relationships.
Now let me state my disclosure before proceding: Yes, sounds like a title that should not come from me seeing as how I have been in a relationship, while in high school,for the last year. Also, let me clearify that this is not a bash on high school relationships because for me to say that would be extremely hypocritical and very inaccurate to my beliefs. Also, this does not contain any hidden...
December 2011
21 posts
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After hours of catching up on my tumblr dashboard,...
Thanks for the stress relief tumblr. gooodddniiight.
“The tiniest of actions is always better than the boldest of intentions”
– The Secret Letters of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma (via creatingaquietmind)
“Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were...”
– H. Jackson Brown Jr. (via creatingaquietmind)
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I miss the ability to freely write. For my thoughts to be admired rather than twisted. I want to write how I feel without having to explain feelings any further than I choose. I don’t want anyone to expect exceptions. I want equality. I want simple. I want complex. I want to feel a rush, an excitement, a thrill. It’s the independence followed by companionship I miss. Friends without...
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The comfort of a bestfriend, the promise of constant companionship. The ability to be alone, and option to be accompanied. The thrill of teenage ignorances, the stability of a maturing young woman. The freedom to write without question, the questions from free writing. The cliches of love, the excitement of courting. The confidence to not care, the humbleness to win heart. The calmness of a...
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Despite my consequent complaints, I am overwhelmingly blessed.
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The prettiest ring ever ever ever.
I would die.
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Limitless Limitations.
Time is the creator of many hidden barriers within relationships. In theory, relationships simply grow as time passes but unfortunately this is not exactly accurate. Time creates expectations that aren’t always obtainable. As time passes, your ideas and expectations become more and more elaborate that the simply things tend to not spark as strongly as they did before. This is a flaw in many...
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Might I just say,
It’s a fancy time of year to have a signifgant other. It’s the time of year that is simply made to share with someone. Romantic settings almost create themselves, oppurtunities for dates at higher than normal, and might I say the irreplaceable feeling of cuddling up with your loved one to keep warm. This time of year is made for romance.
I currently crave...
hot links
brisket
ribs
steak
corn on the cob
mashed potatoes and gravy
fried okra
fries
baked beans
texas toast
Basically I would love to eat BBQ .
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Numbness became burden. Revengw surfaces without warning. Questions and doubts arise. Don’t go was all she could muster. Never did she expect this moment to come, now it affects every aspect of her being. She lost her identy, swept it under the rug. She never meant to, inevitably she would.
She let herself go..
November 2011
10 posts
This is the worst feeling I have ever felt.
and it won’t go away.
For the first time,
I’m scared of honesty. I feel as though I’m walking on thin ice, as it could all shatter at any moment. I feel as though I’m on a probation period. Now, I feel it coming.
Let me be wrong. please.
Here Comes Goodbye. Enough is Enough You’ll think of me. Stupid Boy. She Won’t Be Lonely Long.
What can be done once, can be done twice. Pray it doesn’t..
Never underestimate the power of doubt. It could be your greatest downfall.
Appreciate everything, everytime. It could be the last before you know it.
Always remember even the best of best could go wrong. It could be taken away.
You have to be your best friend. You could end up your only friend.
Trust with caution. The most trustworthy break promised.
Guard your heart. It will be...
...Things had never changed.
You were almost gone. I almost lost you. I almost watched you leave for the last time. I almost looked into your eyes for the last time. I almost felt your touch for the last time. I almost had to remember our last kiss as the very last. I almost had to relearn what it’s like to live without you in my life again. I almost wanted you to leave. I almost wanted to never see you again. I almost...
I’m tired of not having a story to tell. I want to adventure. To bring reality to my aspirations to live memories worth remembering. To experience spontanious moments and forever relive them. I simply need a shake up. Nothing drastic. Just something with enough different to make a difference..
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Rollin' through the emotions everyday.
That can not be the case in a relationship. You have to continue to feed the fire or eventually it will die. You can not rely on past efforts to determine your future. You are responsible for that now. She will appreciate your consistancy. Make an effort is all it takes. Take a minute to surprise her at her house just to say hi. Spend $10 on flowers. Listen to what she wants and twist it around...
Let me just state, I would be the best boyfriend...
If I were a boy that is.
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You should, but you don’t.
You could, but you won’t
October 2011
14 posts
History Repeats itself.
This time last year I felt this exact way. I got all excited for my birthday, for a dinner with my friends, and yet some of my closest friends aren’t going.. again. All it would take is for someone to step up and be that person. Be that friend that is always there. I need someone tonight. I need a girls night. A night where I don’t have to worry. I need a friend that I have for...
Note to self:
NEVER expect a good birthday. Never. It never goes as planned.
I hate having a birthday so close to a holiday..
Today: -watch pretty little liars marathon -make toscani soup -grocery shop -laundry
Today’s wishlist: -shop! -get oil changed -hang out with friends -shop. -buy green/teal nail polish
Productive, yes. I wanna do something fun…
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Things happen in patterns. You have feelings that are brought back by a smell, a sight, a place, a time period. It’s not by choice. You just do. You think back to where you were this time last year, 2 years ago. Sometimes you wonder what if. Sometimes you’re grateful for what isn’t. Sometimes you just wonder what happened. But no matter what, you remember.
You know those days when it seems like no one is...
Welcome to my last few weeks..
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Girls; They do what ever they will to bring attention to themselves. I now remember why I only have a SELECT few of friends who are girls.
Why would you go out of your way to contact your ex-boyfriends family? Close all ties. That’s what you do. Especially if you have a boyfriend AND your ex HAS a girlfriend. If not, you haven’t totally moved on. You don’t continue to make an...
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# 1 Rule of Tumblr
Do NOT speak of tumblr on other social networking sites..
Why don’t some people know this?!
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It's one of those nights where I'm consumed with...
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He is.
Why do I fear? He is safety.
Why do I doubt? He is promise.
Why do I despise? He is love.
Why do I run? He is near.
Why do ignore? He is there.
Why do I worry? He is answer.
Why do I wander? He is home.
Why do I envy? He is everything.
Why do I forget? He is Lord.
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I'm still your little girl.
You used to feel so near. I used to know your touch, your comfort. I used to feel that promise. I used to know through you, I would grow and flourish. You used to be my number one fan. I used to be your priority. You used to see the world in me. You saw me flawless. I used to confide in you. You used to be my best friend. I could cry in your arms and know the comfort of knowing I could do no...